


Purgatory is a Greyhound Bus

by Maiden_of_Asgard



Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Darcy Lewis & Loki Friendship, F/M, Greyhound Bus, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, POV Darcy Lewis, Reluctant Avenger Loki, Road Trips, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, tasertricks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22425286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiden_of_Asgard/pseuds/Maiden_of_Asgard
Summary: Darcy Lewis enjoys adventures.Darcy *doesn't* enjoy being dragged along on the world's-most-reluctant-Avenger's latest attempt to flee his parole on Earth, especially when said attempt lands them on a four-day, cross-country bus ride from hell.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Loki
Comments: 37
Kudos: 225





	Purgatory is a Greyhound Bus

Rain streaked down the windows, and Darcy Lewis leaned her forehead against the cold glass, thinking better of it a moment later. God only knew what kind of germs resided on the interior of a Greyhound bus’s windows. She groaned and tried to stretch her legs, groaning even more when there wasn’t an adequate amount of space to fully extend them.

 _“Will_ you be quiet?” her companion hissed from the seat beside her. 

Darcy rolled her eyes, sorely tempted to elbow him in the side. He was the _worst._ The four hours they’d been riding felt like four thousand, as far as she was concerned. “This is all your fault, Mischief,” she said. “Don’t take it out on me.”

“How is this my fault?”

“Um, excuse me? You’re the one who decided to kidnap me—”

“I didn’t kidnap you—”

“—and you’re also the one who had literally no plan. Your ass would already be in S.H.I.E.L.D. custody if it wasn’t for me.” Crossing her arms, she stared resolutely out of the blurred window. “Imagine, thinking you could actually get through airport security—”

“If I had my powers, this wouldn’t be so difficult.”

“But you don’t have your powers, do you? So it’s kind of a moot point. God, you’re _terrible_ at being a normal person.”

Loki crossed his arms, as well, choosing to glare at the back of the seat in front of him. “I didn’t kidnap you,” he repeated. “You were simply… an unanticipated accomplice to my escape attempt. They’d be just as quick to take you into custody now, you know. I did you a favor.”

“I’m pretty sure I could’ve just said, _‘Hey, guys, remember how Loki’s basically a criminal on parole? Well, he tried to escape Earth and dragged me along for the ride,’_ and they would’ve been like, _‘Yeah, that adds up,’_ and sent me on my way.”

“Too late for that now,” Loki said.

Darcy’s scowl deepened. He was right. That was the most irritating part. She should’ve let him be an idiot and get caught by the authorities as soon as he realized his spazzy, mostly-suppressed magic had completely fizzled out after catapulting them both to the other end of the country. Instead, she’d helped him - because _damn_ it, she actually _liked_ the guy - and now she was culpable. S.H.I.E.L.D. would lock her up and toss away the key. Nick Fury himself would probably shake his head in stern disappointment as the cell door closed behind her. 

_Stop being dramatic, Darcy,_ she told herself, but it was hard not to be dramatic, considering the fact that she was trapped on a Greyhound bus with a runaway God of Mischief, most likely with a horde of secret government agents hot on their heels.

“I didn’t even get to eat breakfast,” she complained, “and now we’re stuck on this freaking bus from hell, and I’m _starving.”_

“I will get us food and supplies when we stop. There should be a stop soon, and I’m also hungry.”

Darcy decided to spare the window from her glare and focused it on Loki, instead. “I didn’t know you carried cash.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, I hope you aren’t planning on using your shiny, Stark-provided credit card, because you can bet that’ll get flagged as soon as you swipe it.”

“I know that,” Loki said. 

“Then what are you planning to do?”

He smiled.

“You’re going to rob a gas station?” Darcy whispered.

Loki shrugged.

“I don’t want to get arrested.”

“You’re already a wanted criminal,” Loki replied. “I hardly see how a little petty theft will hurt, at this point. Besides, we’re going to be travelling for days, so unless you have something of value to trade…”

Darcy fought down the urge to scream. One of the men sitting a few rows up already kept turning to look at her way more often than she would’ve liked, so attracting even more attention wasn’t exactly a priority. “I’m not prostituting myself at the rest stop to fund your Pop-Tart addiction, if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

“Hmm. I’d probably earn more, anyhow.”

 _Don’t punch him,_ she told herself. _He’s just bored and trying to entertain himself. Don’t punch him and get kicked off the bus in the rain, Darcy._

“So,” he continued, “if you don’t have any viable alternative solutions, I suppose you’ll have to just accept my way of doing things.” He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “You’ll need some warmer clothing, as well, for the next leg of the journey.”

“I could maybe help you plan if you’d tell me where it is we’re going.”

Loki remained silent for a moment or two. “Seattle,” he finally replied.

“And what’s the plan for when we get to Seattle?” Darcy asked, her eyes narrowed. 

“I’m going to use Dr. Foster’s latest iteration of the Einstein-Rosen Bridge to create a path away from this miserable realm. Obviously. I can’t go back to New York.”

“So, were you _trying_ to throw us to Florida when you decided to teleport in the first place? Because Orlando is pretty damned far from Seattle.”

“No,” Loki said, “I was _trying_ to go to Vanaheim, but that clearly didn’t work out as planned. Seattle is Plan B. Once I’m on Vanaheim, I’ll find someone to break this curse on my powers, and then I’ll be free to go wherever I wish.”

“If I don’t kill you first. We’ve got seventy hours left, and that’s assuming there aren’t delays, which there _will_ be, because this is a Greyhound bus.” She shifted around in her seat, trying to get comfortable. It was a fruitless endeavor. The weight of what she’d just told him sunk in - _seventy hours. On a bus. With Loki._ “I’m definitely going to kill you.”

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep?” Loki said with forced patience. “It will be after midnight when we arrive at the next station, so you might as well get some rest while you can.”

“How? This isn’t exactly comfortable.”

“Stop talking and close your eyes. That seems like an excellent first step.”

Darcy shoved her earbuds into her ears, queuing up a playlist on her iPhone she decided to entitle ‘Purgatory,’ carefully selecting songs that would hopefully keep her from snapping and strangling her infuriating, unwanted-roadtrip companion. _Calm me down, Hozier,_ she prayed. _I don’t wanna make the news for going postal on a bus in the middle of nowhere._

She woke up to Loki shaking her, momentarily perplexed when she found her face smushed against the window. Her brain quickly caught up, and she glared at him, rubbing her icy-cold cheek to try to restore some feeling to it. “What?”

“We’ve stopped, and we only have twenty minutes.”

“Great,” she said, “cause I’ve gotta pee.”

Loki made a face, but offered her his hand rather gallantly, nearly smacking his head on the luggage rack above as he stepped out into the aisle. It was still pouring rain outside, and Darcy sighed. She hadn’t exactly had a chance to grab an umbrella when Loki snatched her and made a run for it. Ignoring his hand, she brushed past him, hoping that the slight would hurt his feelings; he deserved it for getting her into such a colossal mess, as far as she was concerned.

The station looked like it probably offered slim pickings, but with less than twenty minutes to spare, they couldn’t really chance walking anywhere else. Darcy pulled her jacket up over her head and made a run for it. Now that she was standing, she really _did_ need to go to the bathroom as soon as possible, and she figured she’d be able to consider herself less culpable in Loki’s crimes if she didn’t actually witness his thievery. 

The line for the facilities was long, and Darcy raced right back to the bus as soon as she was done, unwilling to get left behind and trusting, despite her better judgment, that Loki had managed to get something for them to eat. He was already back in his seat, his hair wet and tousled. In all honesty, seeing him all bedraggled and miserable-looking made her feel significantly better about her own disheveled appearance. 

Darcy clambered over him and flopped into her seat, drying her glasses on a dry spot of shirtsleeve. “Well?”

“Well, _what,_ Darcy Lewis?”

She waited until the bus was in motion, slightly anxious that someone was going to suddenly stop them and declare Loki the thief that he was. Once they were back on the highway, she leaned back in her seat. “What did you get us?”

Loki reached into his jacket and began to pile an impressive quantity of vending machine snacks in her lap - chips, cookies, PopTarts, and several kinds of candy. He then stuck his hand down the back of his jacket and produced two Cokes, a comically large bottle of some fancy springwater, and a glass-bottle Starbucks mocha latte. 

Darcy’s eyes widened. “I take it back,” she said, snatching up the coffee. “I love you.”

His face fell. “I intended that for myself.”

“Then I take back taking it back,” Darcy replied, “and I hate you again. Also, I’m not giving this up.” She unscrewed the cap. “I’m fully prepared to fight you. I’m caffeine-dependent, and I’m getting a massive headache.”

“Share, at least?”

“Fine.” She tore open a pack of chocolate-chip cookies. _Dessert for dinner._ “The next stop is longer. We should try to get some real food, if we can.”

“We aren’t arriving until the middle of the night,” Loki replied, very meticulously considering his choice between jalapeño and cheddar chips. “Everything will be closed.”

“It’s Atlanta. It’s big. Something _has_ to be open, right? We can’t live on vending machine food for three days. I _refuse.”_

Loki sighed. “I’ll get you something,” he promised. “Somehow. But you _could_ be a little nicer about it.”

“You kidnapped me!”

 _“Quiet,”_ Loki whispered, leaning dangerously close. “Do you want to alert the entire bus, Lewis?”

“I mean, _maybe._ That’s kind of what you’re supposed to do when a crazy alien is dragging you across the continental United States, as far as I know—”

“It isn’t ideal,” he interrupted, “but I have little choice. Chin up, mortal. I’ll be gone forever in no time at all, and you can return to your dreary life.”

Darcy demolished her cookies in record time, and then she stole half of Loki’s jalapeño chips. _Interesting flavor combo,_ she mused, cracking open a Coke. _Greyhound gourmet._

The dude farther up the aisle turned around to look at her again, and Darcy gave him the nastiest glare she could muster. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with people, especially men who blatantly stared at their fellow riders on crowded buses. 

She felt gross, humid and sticky and sweaty, because there had been a fair bit of running involved at the beginning of their adventure. Her hair was going to be embarrassing before they even made it halfway across the country, and she was pretty sure she could use another round or two of deodorant. _Serves Loki right if he has to smell me for the next seventy hours, though._

Turning her phone data on seemed risky, and she wasn’t even sure if she dared to connect to the bus’s WiFi; they were probably looking for her phone, right? She wasn’t entirely sure how all of that worked, but now that she’d thrown her lot in with Loki, she figured she should be a little extra-careful. Sighing a bit more loudly, just in case he’d somehow missed her ire, Darcy gathered up the rest of his haul and crammed it all into her bag. It was dark, and some of the other passengers were already snoring loudly, and Darcy felt like she was about to go stir-crazy.

“You need to relax,” Loki said. “We’ve barely even begun the journey.”

“Does this situation strike you as particularly relaxing?”

Loki’s sigh rivaled her own. “Come here.”

“What?”

“Come here, Darcy,” he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

She stiffened immediately, an embarrassed heat creeping up her cheeks as he carefully rubbed the back of her neck. “The hell do you think you’re doing, Mischief?”

“Soothing you.”

“I don’t feel very soothed.”

“I am trying to _help_ you, infernal woman.”

“Fine, fine.” She relaxed against his shoulder, her eyes fluttering closed when his fingers slipped under her hat to lightly scratch her scalp, discovering that the spot right above the nape of her neck was unexpectedly sensitive. 

The rain was getting worse outside, but the dark and the road noise did have a very mind-numbing effect, and Darcy was completely exhausted. She wiggled around some more, trying to get her legs in a comfortable position, and Loki reached up to turn off the little reading-lights overhead. 

Sunlight woke her, and she squinted and tried to burrow her face into the nice-smelling darkness beneath her cheek, only to realize that not only was the darkness actually the crook of Loki’s neck, but someone had apparently drooled on him during the night, and she was guessing that it was her. She recoiled at once, alarmed to discover that the world around her was a blur. “I can’t see.”

Loki jammed her glasses back onto her face. “I took them off when you decided to burrow into my throat in your sleep,” he said. “They were stabbing me in the jaw.” He wiped his neck with the collar of his hoodie, and Darcy cringed. 

_The best defense is a good offense,_ she thought. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You were sound asleep, and I was tired. We’ll be in Nashville soon, and we can get some breakfast and stretch our legs. The station has a restaurant; I asked one of our fellow passengers.”

“And how do you expect to swipe food from a place where you have to actually pay when you order, Loki?”

He waved a hand. “The money-machines…”

“ATMs?”

“Yes. I am going to borrow a bit from one.”

Darcy rubbed her bleary eyes, noting with dismay that her glasses were once again completely smeared. “Steal, you mean.”

“Call it what you will.”

It was after nine-thirty in the morning when the bus rolled into the Nashville station, and Darcy had nearly managed to doze off again, though she’d positioned herself very carefully to avoid falling asleep on Loki’s shoulder. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever live that down. 

“How much should I retrieve from the machine?” Loki asked when they stepped into the station. 

“As much as you can get. I’m going to go try to take a paper towel bath, okay? If you do get some money out of the ATM - and I _really_ don’t want to know how you do it - then get me pancakes. Like, a lot of pancakes.”

“As you command, Miss Lewis,” Loki said with a gallant bow. “Enjoy your bath.”

Darcy stretched and did some half-hearted yoga poses before she wandered off to the bathroom, too tired to care if anyone thought she looked like a total weirdo. She splashed water on her face, but her attempts at washing up proved less than satisfactory. Spending the night on the bus after running through the rain certainly hadn’t helped anything. 

When she re-emerged, feeling only slightly fresher than when she’d stepped off of the bus, she saw Loki sitting and waiting for her with an obscene amount of food on his lap. 

“You actually got me pancakes?”

“And bacon and eggs, as well as the largest coffee they had, with a little creamer and milk.”

She took the cup from his hand, eyes narrowed. “Been spying on me in the break room, Mischief?”

“It would be difficult to not know how you take your coffee, Darcy, given just how much of it you consume every day.”

“Right.” She did a quick inventory of the contents of his own plates. “How many hotdogs are you eating?”

“Four.”

“That’s… interesting.”

“You sound as if you don’t approve.”

Shrugging, Darcy speared her pancakes with a plastic spork. “Just a weird choice for breakfast, that’s all.”

“I’ve already eaten my own pancakes,” Loki replied. If she didn’t know better, she might’ve said he even looked a little sheepish. “There was some fruit and a bottle of juice, as well. Oh, and a pretzel.”

“I’m honestly impressed. I always forget how much you guys with your super-metabolisms can eat.”

The pancakes were a little rubbery, and the coffee was a little burned, but Darcy wolfed it all down, wandering over to examine the vending machines once she was done. She pulled out her phone reflexively, frustrated when she remembered that she probably shouldn’t use it for anything other than music. 

_Unless you want to end this nonsense and call in the cavalry to rescue you,_ her inner voice suggested. _Nobody’s going to take Loki’s word over yours. You might manage to get off with only a slap on the wrist._

Loki would get absolutely wrecked if they caught him, though. He’d been skating on thin ice already, and supervillain parole violations were serious business.

She trudged over to Loki and held out her hand. “Money me, Mischief.”

He placed a neat stack of bills on her palm. “What do I get in exchange?”

“You get to travel with me. Lucky you, right? Want more Pop-Tarts?”

“Yes, please,” Loki replied, standing and stretching. “I am going to jog around the building a time or two before we set off on the next leg of the journey. I suggest you move around as much as possible, as well.”

Darcy stuffed her bag with a veritable horde from the vending machines, figuring that it wouldn’t hurt to be prepared; there was always the chance that someone would spot them and they’d have to run off in the middle of a field, or something. She didn’t consider herself particularly suited for wilderness survival. 

Then again, she hadn’t considered herself particularly suited for a lot of things that she’d ended up doing over the last few years, she’d turned out fine, right? She caught a glance of Loki jogging by outside the window. _More or less._

The sun had gone down by the time they reached their transfer point in Missouri. It was still raining, and Darcy was cold, stiff, and miserable. Her bus playlist had gone from soothing to angry, and she drummed her fingers on the window as they waited for the passengers in front of them to disembark and wondered if she should just ditch Loki and go find a hotel. What would he do without her, though? Earth wasn’t really his thing. He needed her… and she needed a shower and a fresh change of clothes.

“Hey.”

“What is it?” Loki asked, steering her into the station with a hand on her elbow. She couldn’t decide if he was trying to seem domineering, or if it was a comfort thing, like he was afraid that she might actually run off and leave him if he let go of her. 

“What if we got a hotel, just for the night? We’ve got plenty of cash, and I know you can probably get your hands on more, if we need it.”

“Money isn’t the problem. Time is the problem. Every moment we spend wandering around in public increases the odds that we’ll show up on a trace.”

“And sitting on a Greyhound bus for nearly four days is different because…?”

Loki scoffed. “No one is looking for _me_ on a _bus,”_ he said. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Please? Pretty please? I’ll get our tickets changed - we can leave first thing in the morning. Besides, the next bus is delayed, so we’re going to be just sitting here in the station for hours, anyway. We can shower, get something to eat, I can run out and pick up some fresh clothes—”

“Fine,” he relented, but he didn’t look particularly pleased about it. “We take the first bus in the morning, Miss Lewis. No dallying, understood?”

“Understood.”

 _You’re way too complacent about being kidnapped,_ her inner voice remarked as she headed to the ticket window to see if she could talk them into changing their departure without a swarm of additional fees. _At this point, you’re pretty much an accomplice._

Loki found them a relatively nice hotel within walking distance, and he even managed to come up with a convincing story to explain why they didn’t have a credit card to keep on file for incidentals - something about them eloping. Darcy was too busy checking out the selection of free cookies on the counter in the lounge to really pay attention. 

He walked over and handed her the room key, stone-faced. “There is apparently some sort of convention.”

“And?” she asked, sticking a few extra cookies in her bag for later.

“Nevermind,” Loki said. “Let’s go upstairs. These security cameras are making me anxious.”

There was only one bed. 

_That_ was what he’d been trying to say down in the lounge. Darcy opened her mouth to let him have it, but Loki herded her into the room and locked the door behind them. She gestured helplessly at the king-sized bed, her eyes wide. “What is this?”

“This is the only room. I told you, there’s some sort of convention in town. You’re the one who wanted to stay somewhere for the night, if you’ll recall.”

“You know what? I don’t even care. It’s better than that freaking bus. But if you try anything funny, Mischief—”

“I won’t.”

Darcy glared at him. Was it bad that she trusted him enough to share a bed with him, but was also relatively certain he’d use her as a human shield if the authorities caught up to them? _Probably._ “How much of your shape-shifting illusion-y stuff can you manage right now?”

“Very little,” he admitted. “Surface-level alterations only - hair color, things like that. Why?”

“You’re going to go out and find us some clothes and a backpack and some toothbrushes… and deodorant. Water bottles, maybe? And pick me up some books or something, while you’re at it.”

Loki’s eyebrows had crept up to almost a comical degree. “Any other demands, Your Majesty?”

“Yeah, actually. Get us an umbrella.”

“I was being facetious.”

“I wasn’t. I want an umbrella, since it’s apparently going to rain forever. Maybe Thor’s crying because you ran off again, you think?”

“That isn’t how—”

“God, I’m _joking._ Just… just go get us stuff.” Darcy paused with her hand on the bathroom door. “I’m going to take a shower while you’re gone. I promise I won’t climb out the window to escape or call the cops or anything, okay?”

“Very well, Miss Lewis.” He pointed a stern finger at her. “Stay here and be a good girl, won’t you?”

Darcy slammed the bathroom door behind her. 

The shower was maybe the best she’d ever had, and she liked to imagine that she was scalding the last twenty-four hours completely from her being. She wrapped herself up in towels and flopped on the bed, stretching out like a starfish to enjoy the leg room. 

Was she _really_ going to voluntarily get back on the bus with Loki in the morning, an accomplice to his crazy scheme to break into a super-secret research facility?

Apparently so. 

Loki returned more quickly than she’d expected, and he seemed taken aback by her appearance. He stood frozen, shopping bags in his hands, and Darcy rolled over on her stomach. “What?” she said. “I wasn’t gonna put on old gross clothes as soon as I got clean.”

“Sensible,” he said, and Darcy caught him sneaking a peek at her butt and bared thighs before he averted his eyes. “I brought an assortment. I also borrowed from another machine.”

“Stole.”

“Stole,” Loki amended, shrugging. “We should have more than enough to reach our destination, and I will leave you with more when we’ve arrived.”

“I feel like taking money from you really solidifies me as your accomplice in all this, Mischief.” Intrigued by his obvious attempts to avoid looking at her, Darcy sat up on the bed, leaning over to look at the shopping bags deposited on the floor - and also revealing just a _bit_ more cleavage. “Did you get the good stuff?”

“Everything that you asked for, and a bit more.” He placed another bag on top of the TV stand. “I retrieved some food, as well. You can go ahead and eat, if you’d like. I’m going to bathe.”

The haste of his retreat to the bathroom left Darcy to ponder the effect she had on the supposedly-impassive Loki Laufeyson. It had never really occurred to her that he might find humans attractive; he was always so disdainful and distant, and she was pretty sure the only times she’d ever seen him flirt were specifically engineered to annoy her…

_Oh._

Maybe there was more to that than she’d initially assumed.

Darcy was impressed with Loki’s haul, not that she’d ever admit it to him, and it didn’t escape her notice that the huge, oversized sweater he’d gotten for her was green. She wondered if it had been a conscious choice, or if he’d simply grabbed his favorite color out of habit. The leggings were a smart choice, too, considering how difficult it was finding jeans that actually fit. 

She settled down on the bed and helped herself to dinner. Loki, in another stroke of brilliance, had brought back a veritable feast of fast food, and Darcy decided that she’d just have to eat extra healthy after she’d gotten him safely off the planet to make up for it.

_Assuming I’m not eating prison food._

Loki emerged from the bathroom wearing nothing but grey sweatpants, and Darcy paused mid-bite, suddenly finding it difficult to remember how to breathe. There was no _reasonable_ excuse for him to dress like that, she decided. He had to be doing it on purpose. _Bastard,_ she thought viciously, shoving fries into her mouth, hoping that he couldn’t see her blush.

“How early do we need to leave to make our bus?”

“Five-thirty in the morning,” Darcy replied, “just in case it actually gets to the station when it’s supposed to, which I kind of doubt. You sure you don’t want to just steal a car, or something? Since we’re already hardened criminals, I mean?”

“We’re trying to be inconspicuous, Darcy.”

“What if we steal a really boring car?”

Loki shook his head. His hair was still wet, and she tried to ignore the droplets of water clinging deliciously to his collarbone. “I’m not enjoying this, either,” he said, “but I will do whatever I must to restore my powers, and that means getting off of Midgard by any means necessary. If I had enough magic to alter the appearance of a vehicle, I’d attempt it, but I don’t. We’d be too easy to identify.”

She sighed and curled up on her chosen side of the bed, burrowing under the covers. “I don’t know what I did to deserve this,” she said. “I’m going to get arrested for sure, even if you manage to make it out. Maybe they’ll make a Netflix docudrama about my life, at least.”

He sat down beside her, tucking into their dinner with surprising relish; given how picky he seemed, she was surprised that he’d scarf down burgers and fries without a word of complaint. Maybe gods could be stress-eaters, too. Darcy carefully placed the bolster pillow in between them, then took off her glasses and rolled over to face the wall, figuring she might as well get as much sleep as she could, while she could actually stretch out and enjoy it.

She felt the mattress move as Loki got up to throw away the trash and turn off the lights, and she told herself that she was being foolish when her heart sped a bit when he joined her under the covers. It was a king-sized bed, and there was a very clear pillow wall between them; she assured herself that there was no good reason to feel so… _fluttery._

But when she woke up to the blaring of the alarm, the bolster pillow had failed at its one solemn duty, and she was spooning Loki like her life depended on it, her face pressed between his shoulder blades. “Mmph,” she grunted, certain that she was dreaming. It _had_ to all be a dream, right? There was no way she was _actually_ on the run across the United States with Loki via Greyhound bus. That was too ridiculous. It couldn’t possibly be real.

Loki slammed his hand down on the alarm clock with so much force that she was pretty sure she heard it crack. _Bad sign._ “Darcy,” he mumbled. “Darcy, wake up.”

“No.”

“We have to leave for the station.” He reached back to awkwardly pat her on the head. “Sleep more on the bus.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“Please? You’re making it very difficult for me to get out of bed.”

Darcy heaved a dramatic sigh and rolled over, fumbling on the nightstand for her glasses. “I _didn’t_ spoon you,” she said. “For the record. That never happened.”

“Of course.”

 _And I definitely didn’t enjoy it,_ she mentally added. _Nope. Don’t wish that I could curl around you like that every night, or anything crazy like that._

Darcy was beginning to worry that her aesthetic appreciation of the God of Mischief was a little less superficial than she’d originally allowed herself to believe. 

Because, in reality, it was so many little, intimate things that made him all the more attractive, things that she probably shouldn’t have stored carefully away in the dreamier parts of her brain over the years that she’d known him. There was the neat, purposeful way he rolled up the cuffs of his shirts, the slight crinkle at the corners of his eyes when he was amused and trying his best not to show it. There was the sleepy softness of the early mornings to add to that mental collection now, too, when he was too tired to remember that he was supposed to be fearsome and irritating. He ran his fingers through his hair to smooth out some of the tangles, yawning widely.

Darcy wanted to stay in bed.

_With him._

She practically leapt from the bed, digging through their ill-gotten gains to see if he’d had the foresight to get socks - and he had. It was probably best if she didn’t pay too much attention as he got dressed, especially since he didn’t have the decency to go into the bathroom for privacy, so Darcy turned her attention towards sorting their snacks into one of the reusable shopping bags, stuffing all of their clothes into the backpack. It wasn’t ideal.

Loki pulled his hair back and fastened it with a tie he’d stolen from her purse, and with the dark hoodie and even darker rain jacket on top of it, she thought that he looked almost like he was trying _too_ hard to blend into the crowd. He just needed a baseball cap and a pair of glasses to really pull the ensemble together.

“Thanks,” Darcy said. “I mean… Thanks for getting us the room for the night. I feel a little less gross, even though I’ll probably feel horrible again by tonight.”

“I am glad that it helped.”

She reached the bottom of the bag, pausing when she discovered a couple of paperback books tucked beneath a small pack of hand wipes. “You actually got me books?” she asked, laughing when she saw the covers. “And bodice-rippers, too. Interesting choice.”

“You have said before that you like pirates,” Loki protested, “and these were the closest that they had—”

“I’m not mad.” She _also_ wasn’t sure if she’d be able to handle reading smutty pirate romances with Loki glancing over her shoulder, which he was sure to do, but she decided it was the thought that counted. At least he’d tried. “Come on, Lokes. Let’s hit the road, before I change my mind.”

They were in Kansas by lunchtime, and Darcy had, despite her initial misgivings, managed to read a good chunk of an unexpectedly entertaining romance between a pirate queen and a young lord she’d captured for ransom. It wasn’t her fault that she pictured herself as the pirate queen, or Loki as the dashing young lord who never seemed to know when to keep his mouth shut. _She should’ve thrown him over the bow the moment she saw his stupid, handsome face,_ she thought, shaking her head as the heroine began to slowly but surely fall for the hero.

 _Enemies to lovers._ It was her guilty pleasure.

She started when Loki suddenly rested his head against hers, but then she realized that he’d dozed off, and the night in the hotel had her feeling generous, so she didn’t disturb him. Instead, she stuck her book in her bag and closed her eyes, pretending for a moment - _just_ a moment - that they were an ordinary couple doing ordinary-couple things, like maybe taking the bus to the next town over for a concert, or heading off for a romantic weekend getaway in the city.

Her neck was stiff and sore when she woke up, a loose strand of Loki’s hair tickling her nose. She shifted to stretch, scowling at the rain outside. It was late afternoon… or at least, that was what she thought. The time seemed to blur by, each hour passing more slowly than the last. 

“Hey, Loki?”

He opened his eyes. “Yes?”

“We’re supposed to have a longer stop in Denver. Wanna get some dinner?”

He nodded.

“We _could_ get another hotel room,” she suggested, hoping that maybe he was still sleep-muddled enough to acquiesce. 

“No. No more delays, Darcy. I’ve already wasted too much time.”

The short break wasn’t enough to soothe their restlessness, and when they boarded the bus after dinner, Darcy had a very clear mental image of herself, screaming at the top of her lungs in pent-up frustration and boredom. She hoped it wasn’t a premonition of things to come.

She eventually couldn’t stand to stare at the pages of a book for any longer, and she was also too keyed-up to fall asleep, so she pulled out her earbuds and turned to Loki. “Hey, what are you thinking about, Mischief? You’ve been awfully quiet all day. Should I be concerned?”

“No,” he replied. “I am trying to remain calm. This entire situation is… distressing. I do not enjoy confined spaces.”

“Oh.” That made sense, and she felt a little guilty for not considering it earlier. “You want the window seat? I don’t mind trading.”

He seemed surprised. “I would appreciate that, actually.”

They shifted seats, and Darcy tried not to laugh when Loki almost smacked his head again. She’d always seen him as so graceful and elegant and _perfect,_ and this gangling, uncertain side of him was more endearing than she ever could’ve expected. He rubbed his eyes as he settled down in his new seat, muttering something in a language she couldn’t understand. 

“What was that?”

“I have a pounding headache.”

“I’m sorry,” Darcy told him.

“I overexerted myself with that _miserable_ failure of an escape attempt, I suppose,” he continued, pressing his fingertips into his temples. 

“Hey, even if it didn’t work, it was pretty impressive. Most people can’t teleport anywhere, y’know? If we’d been planning for a Disney vacation, it actually would’ve been perfect.”

Loki smiled faintly. “Thank you, Darcy.”

“You’re welcome.” She pretended to examine her playlist, suddenly and inexplicably awkward. 

“I do mean that. I appreciate all that you’ve done for me. Of all of Midgard, I shall miss you the most when I’m gone.”

She forced a laugh. “Why so serious all of a sudden?”

“I doubt that I will be able to return to this world for many years, and… well, I thought that I should let you know that you are very entertaining. For a mortal.”

“Right…”

“I am going to sleep,” Loki announced. “If you need someone to lean on, Miss Lewis, my shoulder is at your service.”

“Cool.” 

Darcy leaned back in her seat, trying to assure herself that Loki’s weird brand of flattery had absolutely no effect on her. _Hey,_ she thought, _at least he’s trying._ The Loki she’d first met back at Stark Tower had been prickly, to say the least, and she couldn’t imagine _that_ guy gallantly offering his shoulder to a mere mortal. 

She snuck a peek at him out of the corner of her eye. His eyes were closed, but he didn’t seem very peaceful. Darcy pulled out her pirate romance and leaned against him, a warm flutter in her chest when he moved his jacket from his lap to cover them both. 

_Crap,_ she thought. _Why’d you have to wait until we were on the run from the law to start acting sweet, Mischief? If you acted this way when we were in front of everyone else…_

Well, if she _was_ being honest with herself, the sobering truth was that she might’ve been at risk of falling for him. If things had been different, of course.

Headaches must be infectious, she decided, or perhaps they were simply an inescapable byproduct of spending days on a Greyhound bus, worrying that governmental agents were going to show up to cuff her and take her into custody at any moment. Maybe coffee would help, she decided as they headed into the latest in a string of mostly indistinguishable rest stops. Coffee usually helped.

“How are you feeling?” Loki asked.

“Like crap. How about you?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not sure that I would phrase it exactly like that—”

“It’s okay, Mischief. Royalty can feel like crap, too. It doesn’t take away that famous princely charm.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “We’re almost there,” he said, and Darcy got the distinct impression that he was trying to convince himself. “Another gourmet breakfast to ease our pain?”

“Or lunch, or whatever. I don’t even know which end is up anymore.”

Darcy actually managed to get her hands on a yogurt, which made her feel at least a tiny bit healthier after all of the other junk they’d been eating, and she’d just polished off a cinnamon roll that she figured she’d more than earned when she glanced up and saw her Stark Tower ID photo on the TV screen hanging above the station’s entrance. The TV was muted, but the captions contained the damning words ‘security breach’ and ‘missing person.’

“Why would they use _my_ face?” Darcy cried. _“Crap.”_

Loki steered her into the corner, shushing her. “They can’t announce that _I’m_ on the loose, or it will cause chaos. They must assume that if they locate you, you’ll lead them to me, one way or another.”

“And they’re right. This is a freaking disaster.”

“We’re almost there. If we keep our heads down, we can still make it.”

She took a deep breath. _Go to your zen place, Darcy,_ she told herself. “Okay. Okay, you’re right. We’ve made it this far, we can’t give up now.”

He clapped her on the shoulder. “That’s the spirit, Miss Lewis. We’ll make an adventurer of you, yet.”

They had another half an hour to kill, and it proved to be perhaps the most stressful thirty minutes of Darcy’s life. Every time someone glanced at them, her heart rate skyrocketed; she’d never imagined she’d be so eager to get back on the bus. 

And then she spotted two police officers walk in the station, and she met Loki’s eyes, already panicking. “What do we do?” she whispered. “What if—”

“Act natural,” Loki replied. “They aren’t coming this way.”

But then the cops _did_ turn to head their way, and Darcy’s face had only just left the TV screen two minutes ago, so it didn’t seem like much of a coincidence. She saw Loki’s eyes widen fractionally, and she didn’t stop to think - she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him, halfway wiggling into his lap to shield both of their faces from view as much as possible. 

Loki grunted in surprise, but he didn’t shove her onto the floor, and after half a second, he pulled her closer. _Frenching a god,_ she mused, momentarily forgetting why she’d grabbed him in the first place. _I wonder what they call that on Asgard. Probably not ‘Frenching.’_

When she pulled away, Loki’s eyes were still closed, and he leaned towards her - she decided to file his apparent eagerness to continue away to ponder later. He blinked slowly. “What was that?” he asked as Darcy anxiously peered over her shoulder, relieved to see that the cops had passed them by. 

“People don’t want to stare at people making out. It’s a thing they do in movies.” She shrugged. “I guess it actually works.”

“Ah. And if it hadn’t?”

“I mean, what a way to go, right?”

Loki snorted. “Fair enough.”

“You’re not gonna complain about my methods?”

She could practically _see_ the urge to smirk flit across his face, but he suppressed it. “Not in the slightest.”

Darcy lost her train of thought. The way he was looking at her was… distracting. “Let’s get on the bus,” she blustered. “Before anyone else comes along.”

As they sat on the bus in a slightly-uncomfortable silence, Darcy wondered if maybe her impulsive decision to kiss Loki was motivated less by her urge to hide, and more by the fact that Loki - despite being _infuriating_ \- had also been very high up on her kissable bad-boy list since the first time she saw him. It wasn’t something she liked to admit to herself, but she couldn’t deny that she’d had at least a few daydreams over the years that involved Loki in various stages of undress. This little road trip of theirs was probably the last chance she’d ever get to try kissing a god or a giant or _whatever_ Loki really was. 

_That’s a good excuse, right?_

And she’d been trying to save them - that was a good excuse, too. 

_If anyone questions my methods,_ she thought, _I blame Hollywood._

She tried to get comfortable in her seat without encroaching on his territory, but she couldn’t, and so she finally got frustrated and relented, a little disturbed by how much she enjoyed the way he automatically rested his cheek against her hair when she leaned against him. 

_Damn it, Darcy. He’s literally on his way to yeet himself off the planet, and you pick_ now _to decide you might actually like-like him? Really? Impeccable timing._

“I can smell myself,” she announced, hoping to steer her mind far from thoughts that might’ve bordered on romantic or indulgent.

“I can smell you, too,” he replied, and Darcy turned scarlet. Somehow, she hadn’t been prepared for such a blunt response, but she should’ve been, considering the fact that she was talking to Loki.

“Gee, thanks—”

“I was only _agreeing_ with you. Would you prefer for me to lie?”

“I mean, maybe.”

“Very well. You smell like fresh roses on a spring morning, Darcy Lewis,” Loki said. “This mere Midgardian transport could never taint the mesmerizing allure of your—”

“Kinda late for that now, Mischief.”

She couldn’t see his face, but the sound he made was something between a frustrated snort and a laugh. “You are an odd little creature.”

“And you’re on odd _big_ creature.”

“Like attracts like,” he replied, so softly that Darcy was a little afraid to ask if he’d really even said it at all. 

She wasn’t sure what to make of the fact that the eternally-arrogant Loki Laufeyson apparently thought of them as having anything in common. Maybe he hadn’t really said that, after all. Maybe the bus-madness was setting in, and she was starting to lose the ability to distinguish between dreams and reality. 

Closing her eyes, Darcy firmly decided that she’d be better off assuming that was the case. 

After the days of rain, when they finally reached Seattle, Darcy found it a little ironic that a city everyone claimed was always rainy was the first sunny stop they’d had on their adventure. Emerging from the bus felt a little like leaving a musty, cramped cocoon, and she stretched and yawned, rubbing her eyes. “What time even is it?”

“Half-past an eternity,” Loki replied, shouldering his backpack. “We should be able to reach the facility just after nightfall, and then…”

“And then?”

“I’m off to Vanaheim.”

 _Right._ She forced a smile. “Lucky you, successfully evading justice and all that. Making mischief on an interplanetary scale.”

“It is my specialty.”

“You really think you won’t be coming back to Earth?”

“I can’t really imagine that it would be advisable.”

“Yeah,” she said, avoiding looking at him, because God help her, but the thought of never seeing him again was far more painful than it should’ve been. “Makes sense.”

She could feel his eyes on her. He didn’t say anything. 

_What were you hoping he’d say, anyway?_ her inner voice whispered. _Stop being weird, Darcy._

“Wanna get a last meal before you wave Earth goodbye?” she asked. “I mean, if you’ve got time...”

“I can make time,” he said. 

They had katsu burgers, since Darcy figured they might as well try something neither of them had never tried before, and she nearly laughed until she cried when she discovered that wasabi mayo was spicy enough to temporarily turn Loki’s lips blue, which was apparently a Frost Giant thing that he’d never bothered to mention. She immediately began a list of other, more painfully-spicy things she could coax him into tasting… and then remembered that she was wasting her time, because either he’d be on another world in a few hours, or they’d both be in a high-security prison, and neither of those would really work well for a culinary tour of Earth.

“I wish we had more time,” she told him. “I mean… I guess I never expected you to stick around forever, but I feel like there’s so much you haven’t seen. Earth is a pretty cool place.”

He stole a couple of her fries. She didn’t even mind, because she’d probably had over half of his milkshake. “I’d enjoy it infinitely better if I ruled over it, I think,” he said, “or if I at least had my powers. This curse Odin’s put on me is maddening. I can endure it no longer.”

“I get it. I mean, I don’t _actually_ get it, because I can’t even begin to imagine what being magical is like in the first place, but I understand that you want to feel like you again. I… I’ve spent a lot of time wanting to feel like me, or to be sure what ‘being me’ even really _means,_ and I still don’t know. I just follow important people around, and at the end of the day…” She slurped on her straw, realizing that now probably wasn’t the best time for her to start rambling about her quarter-life crisis. “I dunno, I guess I mean that I get the appeal of having some kind of mission to complete. Something to drive you forward.”

“What do you intend to do after this?”

“Assuming I’m not arrested?”

“Assuming you aren’t arrested.”

Darcy shrugged. “Dunno. I miss Jane. I know I’m not a great partner for all of the actual science-stuff, but I think I was pretty good at keeping her at a semi-functioning level. I doubt S.H.I.E.L.D. will even let me get close to her after this, though. I could always try to actually use my degree, I guess.”

“Is that what you want to do?”

“I don’t know. I’ll figure something out. Maybe I can move to the wilderness and be a lumberjack. I do like plaid, and I’m kind of digging these Pacific Northwest vibes.”

Loki laughed and swiped his milkshake back from her hand. “You with an axe would be a sight to see, I have to admit.” As he searched her eyes, his smile fell, a sobering sort of concern taking its place. “Darcy, you’ve come with me nearly to the end, and getting to the Bridge is going to be far more dangerous than the rest of it. If you’d like to stay behind—”

“I’m gonna go with you, Loki,” she said. “I’m going to see you off. I’ve come this far, and believe it or not, I’m genuinely hoping that you make it.”

His hand rested atop hers for just a moment. “We should go, then.”

“Okay.” She stood so abruptly that her chair nearly toppled over, and she reminded herself that she’d probably need to breathe if she wanted to be any help. “Let’s do this thing.”

Breaking into the S.H.I.E.L.D. research facility was much easier than Darcy had expected… until they turned a corner and bumped into a security guard, who she immediately tasered out of sheer instinct. Loki gave her a thumbs-up, his brow raised, and she sheepishly returned the gesture. They stuffed the poor guy into a supply closet and Loki broke off the door handle, and their descent deeper into the facility seemed a lot more tense, after that.

They’d reached the bottom of an impressively-lengthy set of stairs when sirens started blaring, painfully-bright red lights flashing overhead. Loki put his hands on her shoulders, his jaw set stubbornly, as if he was finally being forced to confront some sort of great and worthy foe. “Darcy Lewis.”

She waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t, and time seemed pretty critical. “Yeah?”

“We’ve had quite the journey together, you and I.”

“Yeah,” she replied, “I think I can agree with that.”

“I enjoy your company,” Loki continued. “Quite a lot, in fact, despite your many obvious flaws—”

“The people with big guns are going to be here any second, Loki, so if you could just—”

“Come with me.”

Darcy stared at him. He still hadn’t loosened his hold on her shoulders, and his eyes were wide. _Earnest,_ even. “What?” she asked weakly, peering around him down the long hallway to make sure no one had reached them yet. 

“Come with me, Darcy. I cannot promise that it will be safe, but it _will_ always be an adventure. That, I can promise you.”

“But—”

“You said that you do not feel at-home anywhere, and I am the same. It is…” For a moment, he faltered, and his grip on her shoulders tightened fractionally. “There is no reason to stay somewhere that doesn’t excite you, Darcy, not when the entire universe could be at your fingertips.”

There was an explosion somewhere above them in the facility. _Definitely about to get arrested,_ she thought. _I’ll be lucky if I only get arrested._ “You promise you aren’t gonna ditch me the first time we get in a fight, Mischief? Because I don’t know how good I’ll do flying solo in outer space—”

“I won’t leave you behind, I swear it - not even when you’re at your most grating.”

Another explosion shook the facility. Darcy’s nose scrunched. “You’re really bad at this. Like, I just need you to know that. I would’ve expected ol’ Silvertongue to come up with a better pitch.”

Loki grinned. “But you’ll come with me regardless, won’t you?”

 _What the hell,_ Darcy thought. Running around the galaxy with Loki actually sounded… pretty fun. She didn’t have anything else planned, especially if she went under the assumption that all of her job prospects with Stark or S.H.I.E.L.D. were tanked. 

“Yeah,” she said. “I guess I will.”

Loki grabbed her hand and ran, and Darcy scrambled to keep up. She could hear the shouting as security burst open the doors leading to the stairwell upstairs, and it occurred to her how foolish she’d feel if they got caught immediately after they basically decided to do their own weird version of eloping to outer space. 

The door to the containment unit looked impenetrable, which made it all the more impressive when Loki kicked it down like it was made of tinfoil. The machinery in the middle of the room looked nothing like what Darcy had seen of Jane’s previous iterations of the Bridge - and it made her realize just how long it had been since she’d actually had the chance to spend any time with Jane. _Sorry, Jane,_ she thought, squeezing Loki’s hand as he powered up the device. Her hair whipped as a terrifying dark vortex opened in the middle of the room, and she plastered herself to his side as the first sprays of gunfire rattled. _Guess they aren’t going for peaceful surrender._ It occurred to her then that perhaps S.H.I.E.L.D. was perfectly fine with having a reasonable excuse to terminate the unwanted, unpredictable alien ally they’d been forced to accept, and they didn’t mind potentially losing the eternal intern in the crossfire.

They were never going to bring him back to New York. 

“It’s now or never, Darcy,” he told her, holding her close to shield her from the coming storm. “Are you certain—”

She kissed him on the cheek. “For luck,” she said. “That’s from a movie, too.”

“I think that I will have to give your Midgardian movies another try.”

Darcy shrieked as an actual, honest-to-God bullet ricocheted off of Loki’s shoulder. “I think we can talk about that later, maybe?”

“Fair enough” Loki said, and without any further ado, he swept her off her feet and leapt into the wormhole, and the only world that Darcy Lewis had ever known disappeared in a blur.

**Author's Note:**

> From the tumblr prompt: "Loki and Darcy stuck on a greyhound bus for an unfortunate amount of time."
> 
> <3


End file.
